“Me” is a 44 year old married mom of two magnificent children age 4 and 6.

I have a sucessful career in marketing and enjoy painting, playing guitar and working in the garden when I have the time.

Since my 20s, I’ve leaned heavily on alcohol as a crutch, first to combat my social anxieties, later, when childhood trauma resurfaced in my memories, and when my husband and I suffered several heavy blows of fate to numb myself and to be able to keep functioning – needless to say, that approach hasn’t been very helpful. I struggle with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, blackouts, endless amounts of shame and guilt and a relentlessly nagging voice in my head telling me I will never feel happiness again in my life if I don’t drink.

I’ve grown certain that if I don’t quit, alcohol will in one way or another play a part in my death, either by illness or drunken accident (of which I’ve had a few). I just do not want to do that to my family.

Since the arrival of my children I have been trying to finally get sober for good. I’ve managed for long stretches (one time even for almost a year) but that insidious voice eventually keeps calling me back: You will never feel that golden feeling of lightness and ease ever again – or you could feel it right now, if you just pour yourself a glass or five.